..being bombarded with thick nursing books, getting my first scrubs (how excited i was!), buying my own stethoscope, first tour in hospital, first time seeing a person die, cleaning crap, seeing a person's chest opened, injecting my self with water.. and more.
WOW.
it has been a year.
I have never appreciated nurses this way ever since i got into nursing school.
I have never seen them as these selfless, compassionate individuals who's always willing to give a helping hand and ear. (well some of them)
Their work is physically, emotionally and spiritually draining. No wonder my mom gets home from work like a worker who worked for 2 days straight with no break. lol (exagge)
I looked back and remembered how i used to tell myself that i will never become a nurse... just because i was afraid of blood..( the image in my head of me working with wounded patients with bones sticking out of their flesh and passing out.) Haha. I used to find that cleaning others butts is really icky.. let alone wiping it myself.
I just wanted to heal/care people.. that's why when i was a kid, i told my parents I want to become a doctor (i think most kids say that.haha). I found myself applying to a university for Biology, not nursing when i finished highschool.
..but here i am putting all these words back to my mouth.
i survived my first year of nursing... and still striving to finally be out there.. in the hospitals.. and officially call myself an RN.
I guess you can really never say never.
I realized..
I find joy in making my patients feel comfortable/clean when they accidentally shit on themselves, from changing wound dressings infested with maggots, from dealing with patients who are suicidal and depressed, from being yelled at by patient's families..
Perhaps what i didn't want to do led me to finding who i really am and what i really want to become.
